Phantom
by aBlue Gillespian
Summary: After a life spent in chasing after a phantom, what is better? Knowing the bitter truth, or living in hope in the uncertianity?


**Phantom.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. 'Nuff said?**

**A/N:** This is another one from the TARDIS forum 'Heart of the TARDIS weekly prompts' challenges. The prompts were...I want to say a special **thank you ** to **mericat **for her help and correcting my spelling.

**Word 1: **deduction

**Word 2:** brother

**Word 3: **roof

**Sentence: **_It was a trick sorry"_

_**Quote: **__I didn't mean for it to be like this. I'm sorry._

_**Lyric: **__ow can I go on 'cause when I'm in the end I see your shadow on the ground, but you're never there when I turn around - Mcfly, The End_

* * *

><p>Captain Jack Harkness loved this spot on top of the tallest building in Cardiff. Here from this place he could overlook the whole city, the hurling and mailing people around not the wiser for his existence. He felt closer to the stars the higher on the buildings he went, now that his only way to reach them where his dreams. Today's day was one of the hardest in his life. Torchwood not only lost two of its best employees, but Jack lost his friends and even worse his very hope of finding his brother. Oh he did find Gray alright, but the person who he found wasn't his little brother anymore. The man he found was bitter, insane and hell bend on making him suffer for something that he couldn't prevent. As if he wasn't suffering for it already. It was a trick to pull him out of the picture and destroy his life, a trick to make him pay for something that he was paying already tenfold.<p>

Jack wanted to explain to him how much losing Gray had hurt, that he never really stopped looking for him. Well not until he was stranded on Earth about 200 years ago. He wished that Gray would listen and try to understand. It wasn't Jack's fault that he couldn't find him, but somehow the phrase: _I didn't mean for it to be like this. I'm sorry. _Felt a bit too lame. In the end he was forced to put his brother into stasis. It broke not only his heart but his soul too, whatever was left form his soul by then. Jack almost wished that he had never found Gray at all. Right now standing at this roof, in the cold drizzle looking at the cold twinkling stars above him he would prefer the wandering around space and time looking for his brother. At least then he would have the hope that maybe someday he would find him. That maybe, just maybe someday some of the shadows he was chasing after wouldn't be just an illusion. He closed his eyes and let the cold drizzle wash his face running down his neck and soaking his shirt and coat. He didn't felt the chill; in fact he welcomed it to keep him grounded while he was going back in time into his head. He was doing this to himself ever since John Hart had told him about finding his brother.

Jack joined the Time Agency with the sole purpose to find his little brother Gray. After the ride to his planet, in which Gray slipped from his hand, he made anything possible to find him. Jack (well he was calling himself Jack now, but then…he doesn't even remember his name anymore he had changed so many) would pursue every track every feeling or deduction of where his little lost brother would be. And still he would come out with nothing. After all the space ports, and stations, after all the planets and their moons he still would come back to the Agency HQ with nothing new for all his troubles.

There were times not only before the Agency when he was just mailing the space ports of Boeashine Peninsula, but while he was agent and then even with the Doctor when he would turn around and believe that just there behind him in the shadows he would see Gray. Of course is never that simple, of course is never that good, and when he turns around unsurprisingly Gray is not there. He never knows what he is hoping for after all that time, but nevertheless he still does it. And yet again he is still surprised when he turns around and there is no one behind just the shadows. And still he would go on searching, until he finally finds what he is searching for and has to lock it away together with the bodies of his dead colegues.


End file.
